what is

This thought floated in today while meditating, its not the first time I have noticed it, but in this case I was a bit more tuned in, observing my mind, observing my thoughts, observing that voice in my head that no matter what, will never stop, funny little fella he is, but I suppose that is the whole point. All at once it became clear to me, I spend my existence trying to deny or change what is, and I am defining what is, as the current set of facts and truths about my life, my circumstances, filtering what is, though what I want it to be or who I think I should be as a person, rather than just surrendering to what is.

Surrendering requires that I up show to life in a manner of awareness, seeing the world as is, rather than through the memories, experiences, and thoughts about the past, my conditioning.  I write so I can remember this more often, it is easy to forget as I get caught up in the illusion of my human consciousness, that it is in fact me creating the experience I choose to have, I live out the life I create, the is, created by it, which is me.

The act of trying to heal ourselves, healing from the past, healing anguish, healing from pain, healing from those things that happened to us, is futile in that sense of the word, I suppose it’s as good of word as any for what must occur, healing, but it but doesn’t really tell me anything. What if rather than seeing it has healing, as a problem, I simply see it as it is, letting go of what I thought should be, surrendering to what is, simply becoming aware of my mind’s role in the whole affair, separating my thoughts from my circumstances, the facts of my life. 

It takes effort to be in that place, at least in this moment, but it seems to me that by peeling back layer after layer of the mind, to those deepest memories and thoughts, a person has a better than average shot at spending a fair bit of time in complete surrender to what is.

The eternal Dao may not be uttered, nor written, and any that is, is not the eternal Dao.

 Joshua