The Space In-Between
Within the space in-between this present moment of happening and not happening, I find myself somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, sitting next to a man way to big for his seat and a case of bad breath that could peel paint, the universe putting all my patience to the test, on my way to Amsterdam and the beauty that is the Netherlands, the land of Tulips, Vincent Van Gogh, Rembrandt, windmills and canals, and many of my fellow blonde hair and blue eye brothers and sisters, making the final additions and edits to this pile ’o’ writing. This overnight flight puts me on the ground at 12:20pm local time, check in to the hotel, find some quality food, hit the gym for an energy burst, pushing through the lack of sleep, but I am all smiles, high vibrational energy, filled up with excitement about this trip, but with a sense of emptiness that comes with leaving my home, a home I love and enjoy immensely. I have not felt this in a long time, it keeps building too, I have been so nomadic in recent years, but I am settling into the space I have created, it is a refreshingly interesting feeling, my energy space, the space in-between my adventures, this is where my vibrational energy is at home.
I am thoroughly enjoying this pace and the cadence of my life, it suits me, grateful to have the opportunities to travel for business and pleasure, and go on these adventures. At the risk of being redundant, as I am certain I have said it before, but I suppose I will forever be chasing the experiences, it has become who I am, maybe it always was, as it seems so much a part of me, would I be alive without them, not alive in the physical sense, but spiritually, I somehow doubt it, I tell myself that no matter what happens, no matter what, I must find a way to fulfill this part of the self, it is where my creativity lives, where my spirit grows, where I meet interesting people and intriguing women, strengthen optimism, experience joy, live my true nature, discover those moments of a lifetime, the moments where I get to experience my best playful self, you know, the moments that matter. This is where the natural flow seems to exist for me, and this is where I choose to live, and within that flow are the adventures, and within the adventures, is the space in-between, the nothingness, the void, and in that space lives the inspiration for the words to write, and the stories that want to be told.
Maybe that act of creation within the nothingness will flow while in Holland, feels like I have been searching high and low for that space in-between, there is a story to be told, not sure what story, but a story none the less, in the present it feels to be missing something, or maybe it has too much of something, in other words, it needs more nothingness, either way, whatever it is, its not deep enough yet for me to follow it through to its best and most perfect conclusion. If you are following this, then just maybe you understand, it is a whole thing for me, the creative process of writing, sometimes it feels easy, sometimes it feels impossible, but the fact remains, the magic happens in the in-between, between something and nothing. In this particular case and in this moment, I suppose my search is all connected to this broader overall not knowing and uncertainty I am living in, but don’t let me mislead you, I love it. For the first time in my life, I am at peace, peace with who I am, peace where I am at, simply peace, there is no sense of pressure on myself to do more or accomplish something else, I am just content, enjoying this space, there is no clear path ahead of me, what seems a first since I was a teenager, whether imagined or not. I am grateful for this moment, the peace of it all, letting myself live in it, unsure of what is next for me, it is quite lovely.
Back to Nederland, I visited some years ago, so there is a familiarity that is welcomed, there is some important business to attend to, that is the first priority, but there will be ample time, a week of working and living, soaking up all the Dutch culture and vibes I can muster. A return visit to the Van Gogh museum, this time with the patience to really take it all in, be in that space with those paintings. I plan to simply sit in front of them and soak them in, share the space with them, no timeline, in the moment, with an awareness to appreciate and really taste each and every brush stroke, and the spaces in-between the brush strokes, the part that isn’t. I am imagining an experience similar to drinking a thick chocolate milkshake with no straw, creamy, dripping down my chin and coating my mustache, messy but delicious, probably waste most of an afternoon there. Another date with the Rembrandts is also on my short list, these were magical last time. I enjoy the Nederlanders, they are a friendly mild mannered, and direct folk, at least that was my experience last time, I even look a bit like them, so I fit right in. A late night stroll through the Red Light District is calling my name, some interesting food is certainly in order, a chill session at a coffee shop, scarf some French fries with mayo, stroll along the canals, find some live music, hop a train out of the city into the countryside. Sort of feel my way through it and all, just see what kind of adventure the universe puts in my path.
As I patiently await for my creative inspiration to arrive, I know that there is a moment yet to be played out, an experience yet to be had, in a place that inspires me to feel the space in-between, the nothingness I am searching for, and I can think of no place more likely to inspire that than where I am heading in this moment, I am sure to find myself sitting out front of a café, along a narrow cobblestone street, watching boats float in a canal, sipping espresso, with people scurrying to and fro, smells of all sorts wafting in on the breeze, sun upon my face, scribbling in my notebook, and all within the beauty of the architecture towering over and around me, right in the inspiration, right in the middle of the space in-between the happening and the not happening.
What isn’t will forever be just as important as what is, as they only exist together.
Joshua
